Monday is a great day to blog because it is full of anticipation of the week, straight off from the restfulness of the weekend. Well, that is what was true for me anyway. Right now I am building my practice in Maryland and looking for other job opportunities in addition, and until those opportunities come together, I'm learning to chill.
During the past 4 months, I have sold most of my things, moved across the country, started my Reiki practice, vamped and revamped my website, edited and reedited my business cards, met some cool people, attended several neat parties, worked for some ceramicist making soap dishes, and am on version 32 of my resume. Why are there 32 versions of my resume? #1 I have a varied work experience so need a couple of different ones that focus on different opportunities. #2 I am an obsessive perfectionist. #3 I want an amazing job. And #4 Fear and doubt have been knocking steadily at my door during this journey.
It is the journey and not the destination, someone said, right? We hear this all the time but I find that when I am relaxing in the moment, setting aside anxieties and fears about what has or hasn't manifested, that I find my calm space where I tap into the truth of who I really am, here, right now. It is actually from this space that I am suddenly really enjoying the journey. Like now, I feel my hands on this keyboard and I know that things may feel a wee bit scrambled in my life, but I am truly alive in the not knowing of what exactly the future holds for me.
One steady stream that I hold onto to keep me feeling calm is tapping into the silence during meditation, yoga, Reiki and long walks in nature. During these moments I connect with the noThingness of my being: that space where nothing comes to the forefront of my awareness and my thoughts quiet for just a bit. That bit gets longer lately thanks to a steady practice. Fear has kept me from really going into the silence and allowing myself to connect. I guess it is fear of disappearing into the void and never coming back to rejoin my loved ones that has challenged me the most.
It dawned on me today that the funny thing is… I have been afraid of nothing, literally, nothing. So from my Reikiheart, I offer the following: noThingness, or the void of anything, aka the quiet space within and without where all the truth and silence exists, can be scary, but not to worry, it just means you fear nothing.